Padmaavat Movie Review: A Perfumed Gust of Regressive Flatulence

Directed by: Sanjay Leela Bhansali (the all-pervasive purveyor of aesthetic nonsense)

Starring: Deepika Padukone (the pristine princess), Ranveer Singh (the chicken loving, dirty faced psychotic tyrant), Shahid Kapoor (the clean faced paragon of Rajput valor and lack of practical sense)

Before I begin, let me say that in this review (to some it may seem an elaborate rant, but I need to give vent to my headache at spending big bucks for this movie), I may not make much effort to hide spoilers for 2 reasons – Firstly, as everyone knows the story from school history lessons or if you were not paying attention, I’m sure the Karni Sena would have ensured you now know everything there is to know;  Secondly, most who wanted to watch the film for whatever reasons would have already done so by now, and those who are yet to watch should be allowed to save their time and money.Continue reading “Padmaavat Movie Review: A Perfumed Gust of Regressive Flatulence”

Raees vs Kaabil: Clash of the Titans?

Jan 25th was slated to be the battle of the stars- Shahrukh and Hrithik battling it out with Raees and Kaabil respectively. The swords were all out with both the parties battling it out with their PR machinery. Some even called it as a mentor-pupil battle. And it mattered for both the stars as their previous movies were almost a washout (Fan and Mohenjo Daro).Continue reading “Raees vs Kaabil: Clash of the Titans?”

Bajirao Mastani Movie Review: An emotional juggernaut. A blockbuster!

1442308541_ranveer-singh-gajanana-song-bajirao-mastaniMost of the times I do not pen my thoughts on movies which are an experience (for me) rather than an exercise (for me). Reason being, I have nothing specific to say about them. I’m awed by them, they transport me to a place and I’m in the film-maker’s control for the entire length, I’m not viewing it critically, I’m just experiencing it (like the good ol’ 90s). So instead of wasting time in hyperboles and adjectives like stupendous, fantastic, amazing, I just lay low with a brief little Facebook status hailing the film. (Probably I’m not breaking these movies down, so as not to ruin my experience, because I’m still that guy who is insecure about his favorite movies). So that’s what I did with Bajirao Mastani. Just a provocative statement on FB “SLB makes Rajamouli look like an amateur” and I was done. But the general indifference and reserved/hesitant praise from our mainstream movie critics (probably the worst in the world) and the Bollywood blog scene towards Bajirao Mastani has made me angry enough to write this piece.

My main concern here is why there is no excitement? Why no one is really hailing and championing this film vociferously, say like Bahubali. BM is so obviously more spectacular and dramatically satisfying than Bahubali. Of course there are acting inconsistencies, dialogues overkill, bad CGI but don’t all mainstream Indian movies have them? We have attuned ourselves to overlook these as minor mishaps and not let it disconnect us from the movie. Why should we really hold these things against Bajirao, when on the other hand it’s giving us a blockbuster movie experience with grandeur, killer dialogues, drama, music, searing emotions and all this at an exhilarating pace. I know it’s already started sounding like those stupid, silly open letters ranting their personal frustrations in the guise of addressing it to someone. But this is really important to me and I will risk sounding stupid here for a movie which deserves praise for the cinematic experience it delivers like no other in recent times. And when it comes to mainstream hindi movies, it gets personal.

On the night I watched the movie, I texted my friend who is one of the best critics out there Satish Naidu, that he should watch Bajirao without fail. I remember him loving the trailer. But he raised his concerns, and asked if it’s a regular period drama. If it is he said it will be tedious and he will probably skip it. I didn’t exactly understand what he meant. Bajirao is definitely a period film and it definitely is a drama. But tedious? No way. And then during the course of our conversation, I understood what he was alluding to by period drama – Mughal-e-Azam, Jodha Akbar etc. Thankfully Bajirao is not in the same vein as these. Its drama is tense and high-strung and never sagging with the burden of period detailing. And I would like to give credit to the screenplay penned by Prakash Kapadia. It takes the juggernaut narrative approach rather than a ‘grand’ approach, where long scenes are built up around the sets with pauses in dialogues so that audience can absorb each and every detail. And SLB, who has been vocal about his Mughal-e-azam love, would surely have relished the ‘grand’ approach given his OCD about detailing. But thankfully we are spared that and what we get is a thrilling historical re-telling of Peshwa Bajirao Ballal’s love triangle, packed with small scenes with high drama.

I have really nothing insightful to say about the film-making or the films content. All I have are generic overarching statements on how this movie is THE movie. So I’m not going even going to try that. Instead what I’ll do is recount few portions/aspects of the film that literally made me quiver with excitement.

Opening –

darbarThe restlessness of the screenplay is very evident here, as it begins by putting us write into the middle of the arguments about the appointment of Maratha Empire’s next prime minister. And amidst it, Ranveer Singh walks in spectacular fashion. I would like point out two aspects of the scene, both related to period detailing

  • Shahu Maharaj’s darbar – It consists of a long and narrow open space surrounded by a trench filled with water, leading to the throne. It is surrounded by an elevated area for the darbar members (all standing).
  • Bajirao’s look and accent – Dhoti clad, bald headed with the bhramin choti speaking Hindi with a heavy Marathi accent.

Fpeshwairstly, the length of the darbar is used fantastically for effect. First Ranvir Singh is introduced by making him walk the length (from the door to throne). Few moments later he is challenged to split a feather with an arrow. The feather is kept at one end, and Bajiro stands on the other hand with bow and arrow. Secondly, the look , along with being authentic is carried out with real badassery by Ranveer Singh. And finally when he delivers his first dialogue in that Marathi accent, boy!!! Pure joy! And moments after this, he wins the challenge, is crowned the prime-minister and then walks in wearing something much more opulent, head covered with an oversized head gear. Walks again through the same long and narrow space for the ceremony (probably not the same, but looks same, and works perfectly in contrast with the earlier moment), exchanging a look with Kashibai.

Deewani Mastani –

mastaniThis was promoted as THE musical set piece of the movie. And it lives up to its billing. When it comes to such ‘item’ songs in Hindi movies, I’m very stickler about the placement and the build-up. When a BIG item number like Munni Badnam just starts randomly, I get all worked up and lose all the excitement. Deewani Mastani was one song, which I’d been waiting for. I love the audio. It starts with a rocking Marathi folk prelude and then settles into a grand rhythm. I was conscious, that in the movie if it just cropped without any underlying emotional layers, it would be a dud. But the build-up is nothing short of amazing.

  • Mastani has arrived in Pune, but is not allowed to meet Bajirao, instead is insulted by putting her up at a brothel instead of a guest house.
  • After a brief flirtation with Mastani in Bundelkhand, Bajirao returns to his loving wife and is shown making love few scenes before
  • Kashibai is ecstatic of Bajirao’s return and is in LOVE with Bajirao. She mentions to someone, that ‘my’ Bajirao will never look at any other woman.

Adeewani mastanind amidst this, Mastani is asked to perform (as an insult) at Bajirao’s homecoming ceremony. We see Bajirao dressed ceremoniously sitting on the throne. We see Kashibai and Bajirao’s sisters sitting in the side balcony. They are waiting for the dance to begin. It begins with the folk dancers dancing to the Marathi prelude, and then the beat dies down and there enters Mastani to Bajirao’s surprise. In the course of the song, Kashibai watches nervously from the balcony. The BIG love triangle is NOW set. The song marks the arrival of the turbulence. I’m not sure of the costume and choreography here, but at a musical and emotional level is works fantastically.

Gajanana –

gulaalAnother musical piece that I was excited to see how and where it was used was the Ganesh aarti. Before 1999, no one thought that the ganesh aarti could have a violent cinematic power. But in Vaastav, Mahesh Manjrekar infused the ganesh aarti with a sort of tension and exhilaration that no one could have thought a high tempo prayer recital could be the perfect background score for a Godfather style (the final multiple locations shootouts) action intercutting. And here 16 years later we have SLB using it in undoubtedly the best 5 minutes of Bajirao Mastani. We hear faint echoes of Gajanana playing inside closed doors. Kashibai is on her way to the aarti when she receives a message that killers are on their way to Mastani mahal, save her if she can. She is shocked. She slowly approaches the closed door (from where we hear Gajanana – still faint, increasing slowly) and then opens it to the blast of Gajanana and blood red gulaal filled air. Meanwhile we see Mastani woken up by the intruders. Kashibai proceeds in slow-motion through the crowd with ear blasting Gajanana playing. Mastani is seen defending her child with a sword killing the intruders one by one. We now cut to Kashibai’s close-up, seeing her dilemma, whether to tell Bajirao or just ignore thus getting her souten out of the way. The tempo of the aarti escalates with the intercutting of Kashibai and Mastani. These 5 minutes of pure audio-visual crescendo is absolutely breathtaking and worth every penny of the ticket.

This movie is indeed an event movie. You feel like you’ve watch 4-5 movies packed into one.  You get 10 times the bang for every shot in the trailer. Easily the best of 2015 and one of the best ever.

PS: Thanks to my wife for passionately discussing this movie with me and making me realize it is SPECIAL. Also, thanks for pushing me to write this. I feel a lot better than I did at the beginning.

Bajirao Mastani: A Quick Review

Bajirao Mastani PosterThis weekend seems to be a battle of heroes- one is a reel hero (SRK in Dilwale) and the other a real hero (Bajirao) and the second one wins hands down! Sanjay Leela Bhansali finally seems to have got a lot of things right with Bajirao Mastani, a good film after a long time after Devdas. Maybe he loves pitching a man against two women!Continue reading “Bajirao Mastani: A Quick Review”

Bajirao Mastani Movie Review: A Glittering Period Love Tale but Not Quite an Epic

Perhaps there is hardly anyone around who hasn’t heard of Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s dream project Bajirao Mastani and his plans to make it over the years, which for some reason or the other never really took off for a long time. Finally after going through several iterations the ambitious project has made it to the theatres. Though of late the film has been more in the news for the fight for screens and shows due to its big clash with Rohit Shetty‘s Dilwale, it wouldn’t be an understatement to say that the film has been keenly awaited, what with every promotional input being well received. Needlessly to say I was quite curious to know whether the film actually manages to make the wait for the same be worthy enough for both Sanjay Leela Bhansali and the audience, especially considering the various changes in the casting that the film has gone through.Continue reading “Bajirao Mastani Movie Review: A Glittering Period Love Tale but Not Quite an Epic”

Baby Movie Review: No child’s play, this!

The one admirable quality about Neeraj Pandey is that he is consistent. What his movies lack in nuance, and grit, they more than make up for it with a solid script and performances. He may aim to be Bollywood’s Katherine Bigelow or Paul Greengrass, but somehow he’s managed to be to this decade what Subhash Ghai was to the 80s and Rajkumar Santoshi was to the 90s. A storyteller, who can spin out a yarn that may seem implausible, but doesn’t insult your intelligence. Baby continues this tradition of his.Continue reading “Baby Movie Review: No child’s play, this!”

Chotushkone (2014) Bengali Movie Review

At the end of the day filmmaking I feel is about how well you narrate a story. Srijit Mukherji no doubt knows how to narrate a story. While I was waiting to watch this movie from Sep 26th, the day it released in West Bengal, it finally made it to Bombay this week.Chotushkone (Quadrangle) was marketed as a thriller, but I feel it would be laziness on our part to slot this film in just one genre; it is a quirky film where Srijit clearly wants to have fun and at the same time engage the audience as well.Continue reading “Chotushkone (2014) Bengali Movie Review”

Chotushkone: Trailer

Chotushkone PosterAfter the critical and commercial success of Jaatishwar which also went on to win 4 National Awards, writer and director Srijit Mukherji returns with his next film, Chotushkone. A film which has been in the news ever since it was announced, Chotushkone was originally supposed to feature Rituparno Ghosh, Anjan Dutt, Aparna Sen and Goutam Ghose. But with Rituparno’s demise and with Anjan Dutt moving out the cast underwent further changes. Finally the film has now been completed and now the film is toplined by Aparna Sen, Goutam Ghose, Parambrata Chatterjee and Chiranjeet Chakraborty. This thriller is produced jointly by Reliance Entertainment and DAG Creative Media, who also produced Jaatishwar. The film has music by Anupam Roy while Sudeep Chatterjee is the DOP and Rabi Ranjan Maitra is the editor.Continue reading “Chotushkone: Trailer”

Dhoom 3 Movie Review: Kuch Bhi!!

Aamir Khan in Dhoom 3 with his hatWomen & Children first was the cry. People are to distance themselves from something that is a mix between Dhoom 1&2, Fast and the Furious, Prestige, Jumanji (Uday Chopra was the chimpanzee), the Road Runner and the Bugs and Daffy Show. Welcome to THE land where truth is stranger than fiction.

Despite my ranting, my ravings, my warnings and all that is good and holy in this world, my fears came true. I ended up seeing Uday Chopra in a larger than life avatar and sadly no amount of Katrina’s legs can make up for this.

For those still contemplating (and the few of you who read my reviews regularly) I always give a brief about the story and here it is:Chase Scene…Dance…Chase Scene…Katrina Kaif….Dance…Chase Scene….Katrina Kaif…Dance….(Intermission)….Dance…Katrina Kaif…Dance…Dance again….random talk…Aamir Khan kills himself. The End.

I guess you could figure out that wasn’t accurate. I wish I could say the same. Continue reading “Dhoom 3 Movie Review: Kuch Bhi!!”