I am Row(die) Rat(whored)


Yesterday I felt some tremors inside my tiny brain which anyways never function but has been slowly and surely breached to be unresponsive towards humanity and sensitivity for viewing some mind blasting flicks such as Tezz, Ishaqzaade, Department and Rowdy Rathore .

Long time ago when internet had made a foray into our lives, guys and girls used to make a beeline at cybercafés across their respective lanes to explore a phenomenon called as CHAT. Yahoo mail id’s were created, chat rooms were full and there used to be a long list of unknown people in your messenger list who sometimes even met or even got in an affair and the lucky ones even had a chance to ding-dong just for the thrill of it. Over the years it has faded with advent of Facebook, Twitter etc. and nobody seems to be interested on that route. But on a lazy Sunday, I took the brave option of venturing inside a chat room just like I was courageous enough to watch Rowdy Rathore last night.

My experience of watching it can be summed up by the sheer force of chat requests and spamming I was subjected to on my entire time spent there.

UTV_Loosemotions: Hi People, whats up everyone?

Sanjay_Laila4u: Anyone want to chat with a lonely and depressed guy after some big flops?

Prabhu_LongD:  I need a strong boy to tell me what to do. IM me if thats you.

Sanjay_Laila4u: I just got out of the shower… I need help pickin my career.. suggestions fellas?

Prabhu_LongD: you can always hit me up in private msg, friendly male here

RajaMaullied: so im thinking its time to get freaky. Remake a nasty hit boyz!

Sanjay_Laila4u: im sooo tired of my depressing crap

RajaMaullied: make me laugh and ill send you somethin special guys

Sanjay_Laila4u: My next film will be shot entirely outdoors.. 🙂

Prabhu_LongD: I will never remake a film 😀

RajaMaullied: ROFLMAO =)) …. I give you Vikramarkudu

Akki_NoChest: is this room full of beardos?

Prabhu_LongD:  add me if youre lookin for a hit fella

Forehead_Sona: Howdy im a busty lady, work with middle age guys

Prabhu_LongD, Akk_NoChest, Sanjay_Laila4u  to Forehead_Sona: Webcam request pending

UTV_Loosemotions: Don’t hit on me…Balan will be furious

Forehead_Sona: hey handsome men damsel in distress here msg me hehe

Horny_Sajid_Wajid: No one can compete here with us in this department

Ramu_Aag: Department….Don’t ANGRY me

Sandeep_Chowta: Rathore…Rathore…Rathore…Rathore…Will give a thumping 😛 I mean background score

Nasser_hamguy: Ummm…..I will play a Chennai ka Bihari…

Akki_NoChest: My futcka….440 watt jhatkka

Forehead_Sona: Webcam permission given

Yashpal_SharmaNoSharam: im taking off my clothes on my web cam now (Removed from chat room)

Prabhu_LongD: so ive got a hit on and thats about it. any fellas interested? (Marked as Spam)

Sanjay_Laila4u: Finally I will get a hit (Report for Abuse)

Akki_NoChest: Don’t angry me…I do what I say..I do what I don’t say too (Ignore User Permanently)

Ajay Nair: Yahoo ID & Messenger deleted

If my above conversation does not make any sense so does the movie. I am thankful that you guys took the pain of reading it because you need to take a bath again for reading this trash and I am off writing for a long long time after this.


  1. Sanjay_Laila4u: Cinema is entertainment, it is no more art
    Akki_NoChest : What Chulbul_Sallu does with his belt i will do with my shirt, aur main jo nahi bolta wo bhi karata hoon … cool … My Joker is coming next … Wohhhaha … Hit after Hit
    Forehead_Sona : Hey guys somebody called me “Saand” in other room … not done … where is your mo**er****er Cinemato Prabhu_LongD
    Prabhu_LongD : Saand means Sah + Aa*** , it somebody else … my cinemato did some great slow mo shoots … he is the best … leave his ass alone
    Akki_NoChest : Prabhu_LongD dont angry me … it is not ur cinemato … it was me … i did martial arts training … fucker
    Sanjay_Laila4u: Cinema is entertainment, it is no more art 
    Akki_NoChest  : Fuck U … call it Martial entertainment
    Forehead_Sona  : hey somebody said “Saand” again
    Akki_NoChest   : shut up … ask me … it was me who weight lifted you
     Forehead_Sona  : Akki_NoChest  dont ever touch my naval again
    Yashpal_SharmaNoSharam : i am crying
    Akki_NoChest    : now what happened
    Yashpal_SharmaNoSharam  : Yar that Tape recorder wala idea … Prabhu_LongD you are the most emotional director i worked with
    Prabhu_LongD  : but i like slow mo’s … i am doing 10000 fps in next one
    Yashpal_SharmaNoSharam   : which is ur next one? Please take me again
    Prabhu_LongD : next one is Saand Sona
    Forehead_Sona   : fuck who said saand again
    Prabhu_LongD  : shut up forehead … i will make you next balan with muscles
    UTV_Loosemotions ; Sorry we are not interested we only make entertainment
     Sanjay_Laila4u: Cinema is entertainment, it is no more art
    Yashpal_SharmaNoSharam  : what happened to him … he saying the same thing
    Akki_NoChest : i just forget to take out Rowdy Tape recorder from his ASS


  2. WTF!!! Is going on man?

    Ajay-I need to reread your post again. It’s like Lynch’s Mulholland Drive.You can understand only if you watch it multiple times.


  3. Beta yeh toh sirf shuruat hai…Next in line is Son OF Sardar which is a remake of Rajamouli’s Maryada Ramanna followed by Magadheera which is going to star Ranveer Singh.Run far far away.


  4. Dude, 

    This was the most awesomest review, I have read in a long long time. Good Job !
    The day, I saw the trailer of the movie. I knew, what it’s gonna be.
    Your review simply sums up the entire movie.
    And thanks for taking us back to the day’s , when Yahoo was one of the most INNOVATIVE internet company.


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